Nick Shear
Independent Future
Nick Shear, 19, remembers the day that he and his four siblings were first taken away from their mother’s home in Oceanside. "I remember police came to our house and took all of us away. We went to a children’s center temporarily, then a foster home. Everybody went their separate ways," he recalls.

That was only the beginning of a tumultuous childhood. For the next 12 years, Shear, who has mild developmental delays, lived in half a dozen different foster homes. When he was 11, his father passed away. "When I was younger, I was really emotional," he says. "I was asking myself, ’why am I here?’"

Foster care was difficult. Shear had trouble getting along with several of the foster moms and other foster kids. "I was always good, like, I never had a major behavior problem," he says. "But when someone said the wrong thing, or didn’t listen to me or help me, it made me really mad." He coped with his emotions by writing everything down. "I always wrote down my experiences. When something happened, I would just write it down. With the date and time. So I’d have proof."

Throughout those years, Shear longed to live with his mother, even though he admits his relationship with her was not perfect. "It was ups and downs, but she was all I had. I wanted to be with her," he explains. "My little sister would say, ’is mom going to come back?’ and I would always tell her, ’just hang on tight,’ to give her confidence."

For children in foster care, long-lasting relationships are hard to come by. In fact, when Shear recently returned to visit his fifth grade foster mom, she didn’t remember him at first.

"For everyone, no matter where you’re from, the way you advance in life is by having a connection with someone," explains Adam Gainey, a supervisor at Walden Family Services, an organization dedicated to helping foster children find meaningful, long-term foster care relationships. "Whether it’s getting a job, getting information about going to school, and so on, a lot of these kids get out at 18 and don’t have that simple connection that can lead to so many things in their futures."

Gainey, himself, spent 12 years of his childhood in foster care with Walden. He is more than familiar with the challenges that foster children face when they turn 18 and abruptly "age out" of the system. To help with this transition, Walden created the Independent Futures program. As a supervisor, Gainey reaches out to teenagers in foster care, to prepare them for independence.

Shear connected with Walden Family Services when he was 13. "Walden really helped me," he says. "When I was younger, it was just, like, the social worker, and maybe a couple of counselors. But with Walden, I have backup." Throughout high school, Shear made a 3.65 grade point average, participated in sports, drama, clubs, and went to church.

When Shear turned 18, he moved into an adult living facility. But he was determined to live on his own, so with the support of Gainey and the Independent Futures program, Shear worked hard to make that happen. Recently, Shear moved into a transitional living program where he has his own apartment and pays his own bills. "He’s really excited that he’s moved, and he’s getting used to being an independent adult," says Gainey.

Shear is pleased with his new situation so far. "It feels good living on my own," he says. "I budget pretty good. Sometimes when you’re young you want all the fancy stuff, but I’m not like that." Shear intends to stay out of debt, and Gainey showed him how to keep track of his finances.

Shear has lots of hobbies and plans — including becoming a big star and giving back to the community. He still writes a lot, and loves to read, watch movies, sing, and act. "I like to put a smile on somebody’s face. I’m one of those people who will be your friend no matter what." He says that he learned that trait from his mother, his sister, and Gainey. "I have so many people who care about me. I feel like if I can be a loyal, caring person, it’s going to come back in the future." — JJ Hall, photo by Vincent Knakal

Walden Family Services

Year Founded: 1976

Overall Mission: To support the lives of families through lasting relationships.

Current Funding Objectives: Looking to fund foster child support services, encompassing foster parent recruitment, retention, and emergency crisis funding. Also looking to fund social work support and its Independent Futures Program.

Donation Administration Cost Ratio: 9 percent administration, 91 percent direct service.

Organization’s Biggest Challenge: Finding great foster parents and fundraising.

Contact Information: Heather Schroeder, 619/584-5777, ext. 240, schroeder@waldenfamily.org, www.waldenfamily.org