Tips On Gratuities

Here's a familiar scenario: you're out to dinner, you order an appetizer, entr?e, and dessert. The bill comes and you tip the waiter, who's been by to check on you a respectable number of times, the going rate of around 20 percent. Nothing out of place with that picture. But try this one: you're out to dinner and you order only a $10 salad and a $300 bottle of wine. The waiter hasn't done much but deliver the food and uncork the bottle. The bill comes and you tip him...what?

This is just one of many situations where proper tipping protocol escapes many. Generally, we're taught to tip a percentage of the bill, but sometimes the bill might outweigh the level of service, and sometimes the bill is relatively small considering the level of service received. Oftentimes we're not even sure who or when to tip, let alone how much. In the above example, is it really appropriate to tip 20 percent of $310? I decided I would slink around town trying to solve such dilemmas by asking those whose livelihoods depend on gratuities. It turns out that discussing tips is a rather taboo topic, and may be one reason people are still confused. More than once I was asked to leave an establishment, and several times the service staff made it clear their employers would be angry if they knew they were divulging this information.

Why, I wondered, is it wrong to let the public know what the proper etiquette is? Interestingly, it seemed the more posh the establishment, the more tight-lipped everybody was on the topic.

Looking at it from a historical viewpoint, tipping has long been a custom of all social classes. During the 16th century in London, jars labeled "To Insure Promptitude" (TIP) were put out in pubs for people who did not want to wait for service. Placing a coin in these jars would get one a quick ale while others waited. (Scholars also argue that the practice grew out of a time when gypsies would attack travelers on the roads, shouting, "Tipper me money." Essentially, this ensured that the travelers could pass by safely, the kind of "service" that belongs in quotation marks.)

But, more likely, today's kind of tipping - after the service is received - grew out of the 18th century, when European statesmen would reward their staff for work above and beyond the call of duty. The practice progressed in Europe, but did not carry over into America until much later when Colonial Americans who visited abroad started tipping their servants in an effort to promote their sophistication - according to Kerry Segrave, who wrote Tipping: An American Social History of Gratuities.

Considering that, and to get back to my point, complaining to a statesman probably meant risk of losing a big tip, whereas a measly coin in the tip jar was not enough to deter angry employees from voicing their thoughts about patrons. (In 1918, the Washington Post ran a story about 100 Chicago waiters who were arrested for sprinkling vomit-inducing powders over the foods of bad tippers.)

Eventually, I was able to corner "Nick" (who asked that his real name remain anonymous), a waiter at a well-known restaurant in La Jolla, and get a straight answer: "If you can afford to buy a $300 bottle of wine, you should have enough etiquette to tip the going percentage of the bill," he says. "I might not expect a full 20 percent, but at least 15. You shouldn't order that kind of wine if you are going to chince on the bill."

Nick went on to answer other burning questions I had. Why is gratuity included in large parties? Shouldn't gratuity be judged on the level of service afterwards?

"It protects the server because there's a lot of work involved with parties that size," he replies. "Plus, if you're working a party that large, you're only working that table. So, if you work all night for a table and only get a 10 percent tip on a $500 bill, that could hurt you because you could have been working other tables." (Considering the Chicago story, I simply agreed.) Nick went on to explain that automatic gratuity is always whatever the going rate of gratuity is. Right now, that's 18 percent.

But that still didn't help for situations where there is no bill, such as using the skycap at the airport, or situations where a bill only comes after several days of service from different employees, such as at a hotel.

According to customer service at Lindbergh, $1-2 per bag should keep you in good standing with the skycaps. However, numerous articles I found suggest that anything over five bags should definitely fall to the $2 side of things. What many people don't know is that skycaps are also able to help passengers change seats and upgrade their tickets. But they won't do this for free. For any service outside of carrying bags, at least a $10 tip is customary.

Timothy Ryan, who served as the bellboy at the Vanderbilt in Newport, RI a few years ago, echoes that more bags means more tip. "Usually people tipped based on the number of bags. The going rate at this hotel was normally $2 per bag and $5 for two or three. Not all people tipped. I thought that when people didn't tip they were cheap. It affected me."

Tipping for bags is one thing, but there is a gray area about room service. Normally, we tip when the bellboy brings something to our room that we've requested, such as a new razor. But what if you call him back three more times that day. Should you tip every time? That could get expensive.

"Normally, people know if they are going to be high maintenance," says Ryan. "They might give you a $20 and tell you to look out for them. That $20 would cover the [numerous] times you go up to the room. For the average person that just needed a couple towels or something, they'd give a couple bucks and then nothing after that. I didn't expect repeated tips. But there were many times that you worked hard for people and they would not give you anything. These people expected you to do everything for them. A good example was Ted Turner and Jane Fonda. They stayed for a week and were constantly asking for stuff and they never tipped a penny."

Ouch. Did I mention the article where bellboys used to accidentally drop non-tipping patrons' bags down the stairs?

Don't confuse bags with a trip in an airport shuttle, though. That's one instance when percentage is the norm. "Fifteen percent of the overall bill is fine," says Becky from Cloud Nine Shuttle. They must like picking people up in North County.

And what of the hotel concierge who gave directions for a good restaurant to one guest and made reservations for another?

"Guests use their discretion," says "Emily" at the Four Seasons Resort Aviara. "If they just come up and ask a question or talk, if we don't have to do anything, there's no reason to tip. But quite often we'll make reservations for people, and $5 seems to be the most common tip. The people who know what a concierge can do for them, they tend to tip more." Though Emily, like most people I interviewed, stressed that she does not expect a tip, and treats everyone equally (as I speak to her she mentions a family from another country that is consuming all her time, but because of cultural differences will not tip her) she does offer some advice: If you're going to require the concierge to make a lot of calls or reservations for you, a cumulative tip at the end of the stay is acceptable. The concierge is not as dependant on gratuities as the bellboy, but it is appreciated. And on that note, don't be afraid to ask the concierge to handle your errands. "Anything that's not illegal or immoral, we will do," she says.

Emily then asked me what proper tipping protocol was for valets since her clients ask her and she wasn't sure. Just goes to show you we're all a little confused. James, who valets at Hotel Parisi, explains it: "Usually people tip when they pick up the car, not when they come in. It's nice on the way in, but it's not necessary. If I have to keep getting the car all week, usually people leave a small tip each time. Then when they leave they give a little larger tip."

Constant coming and going is a problem not just with cars, though. Take bartending, for instance. A bartender's job is to make and pour your drink, and most will tell you $1 per drink is a good tip. But what if you order ten drinks? How hard is it to open ten beers? And what if you're running a tab? Should you wait and pay the percentage of the total bill at the end?

According to Neil, a bartender at D Street Bar and Grill in Encinitas, "Most people do a dollar per beer. If you do two or more drinks, you start basing it on the price. If it's over $10, then, like food, about 15 percent."

I learned something new from Neil: the amount of tip is also proportionate to the time it takes to make the drink. "If people order drinks that are a pain to make, like five mojitos, I have to sit there and make them and it's a lot of work and time. If they don't tip well, then when they come back, I think, 'oh great, here come those mojito people.' If they tip well, I'll get them whatever they want."

Tipping at the bar is usually about receiving fast service, and not so much a thank you for opening a bottle of beer. It harkens back to the TIP jars. These days, to make sure the bartender caters to you, Neil suggests using cash. "I treat everyone the same, but I only notice if they're a good tipper if they tip in cash. I don't look at credit card tips."

And speaking of those tip jars, they seem to be popping up in the strangest places, including coffee shops (does Starbucks really need any more money?), fast food restaurants, independent movie theaters, even gas stations.

"It's the customer's choice," says David at the Wall Street Caf? in La Jolla, where coffee and sandwiches are the focus. "If you like the service, do it. If you don't, then don't." David is another one quick to point out that not leaving a tip makes no difference to him. Like Neil, it seems to only matter when the expectation of service is incongruent to the request. "If a guy walks in and says he needs 15 sandwiches in five minutes, he'll plop five or ten bucks in the tip jar. Other people who ask that and do nothing are sort of a nuisance."

Ironically, David is aware of the dilemma the tip jar has created. "The real issue I have with it is that the companies are now forcing the customer to pay for the employees' work. It now comes down to the consumers' decision how well someone gets paid." Gali Sollmon of StarLight Professional Makeup in Los Angeles, who does face painting at children's parties, agrees that the more that's asked of her, the higher the tip should be. "Up to ten kids, $5 is fine," she says. "But if it's 20 to 30 kids, then $10-$15. If it were something like 200 kids, then $50. It also depends on how many hours I'm there, and what I bring. I bring candy and gifts and stuff I pay for to make kids happier."

Finally, a big ugly one that seems to get under peoples' skin: the bathroom attendant. If only I could reprint the numerous comments I've heard and read concerning protocol for tipping the bathroom attendant. "Joe" from the Yard House belayed a big fear I think many people have, "It's not required. It's up to the person. If you want to tip, a dollar is fine." Still, Joe pointed out that it is more acceptable to tip if you take a splash of cologne and a spritz of hair spray. Most bathroom attendants work for very low wages, and rely on tips to earn a living. In exchange, they are ensuring the bathroom is always clean and safe.

At the end of the day, I came to two conclusions. One: if there's a bill, 15-20 percent is required if a service was performed. Without a bill, it relies on the client's discretion. Ultimately, people are always appreciative, providing the tip isn't an insult. These are just a few examples of tipping what-ifs; to help with other unanswered questions, we've compiled a list of proper tip etiquette. - Ryan Thomas