Weighing In
My sisters and I have a family ritual we’ve been practicing for more years than we care to admit. It’s not like most other family rituals. Well, not like any others we’ve ever heard of. It probably started when my two sisters, Laura and Martha, and I noticed that we could no longer inhale great masses of ice cream, brisket, bagels, and Mom’s chocolate cake without picking up a spare tire or two. Teenage years of effortless skinniness evaporated when we reached the age of majority. No longer did people look at us and tsk, tsk because they assumed our mother never fed us. To say it was a bit of a shock when the pounds crept on is an understatement. I mean, I was the girl who, in college, ate potato chips and Mallomars for breakfast but couldn’t meet the 110 pound blood donation requirement!

Shaped pretty much along the same lines as I am, my sisters had similar moments of truth. And had similar outraged reactions: Now you want us to diet? Actually pay attention to what we eat? If our pants were too tight, well, they must’ve shrunk because we could not be possibly gaining weight. Absolutely not!

Ah, but we were. No one can deny gravity forever.

Enter the ritual. We’ve grown almost fond of it over the decades, even though to some it could be considered, well, is masochistic too strong a word? It’s called “Who’s the Fattest Levine Sister?” — a title we thought was pretty pithy and to the point. Here’s how we play it: When we get together, we immediately huddle to assess how we all look. “Martha, you look really great.” “Really? I don’t look huge?” “Wait. Stand sideways. Nope, you look great.” “And, Laura, is that a size 8 you are wearing?” Such banter is mere window dressing for the carnage to come: revealing our actual weight. It’s always a crapshoot. The skinniest one gets to be the “Thinnest Levine Sister” for the rest of the visit, which means looking smug, even if her advantage is in grams. The heaviest one wails, “I’m the Fattest Levine Sister!” And proceeds to stomp around the house while we assure her she looks fabulous while privately spouting, “I’m thinner than yooouuuu.” Our mother rolls her eyes and throws up her hands (“Will you three please stop that!”), our husbands duck for cover, and our brother’s skinny wife wisely keeps her distance.

Oh, we’ve made attempts to regain our former selves. Martha hired a personal trainer. Laura walks three miles a day. I tried a pineapple powder mix that made me so flatulent, my family begged me to stop. We’ve tried rethinking our relationship to food — and found out, hey! We like it! We really like it! Step classes, yoga, weight-lifting. And we’ve learned to count: count calories, count fat grams, count carbs, count points, count the milliseconds until we can get off this *%#@% treadmill or exercycle. (Our math skills have never been so good.) We’ve done it all. And at times, the weight comes off. We celebrate, buy slinky new clothes…and then, the pounds creep right back on. And we’re back to debating our status in the Levine pecking order.

Now, as three sisters who — as you can see — have spent an inordinate amount of time thinking about our bodies, we’ve decided the problem lies elsewhere. So we’ve developed some other coping strategies that we would like to share with you, because that’s the kind of giving, loving, caring women we are. Do you dread the scale? Forget Atkins, forget the Zone. Don’t worry for now about good nutrition and exercise. We know how you can drop five pounds INSTANTLY. It all has to do with proper weighing technique.

Herewith, our tried and true guide to the only correct way to weigh yourself:
1. First thing in the morning. (Better yet, while you’re still asleep. Maybe you’re dreaming!)
2. AFTER you’ve gone to the bathroom and BEFORE you’ve eaten.
3. Stark naked.
4. AFTER you’ve brushed your teeth (plaque can add pounds).
5. Lean this way or that to make the scale needle move. Who is to say which is the correct point?
6. Weight usually varies by a half of a pound each time you step up. Accept the number that appears two out of three times — unless that’s the higher number, in which case, go for three out of five.
7. Subtract a pound if your hair is wet.
8. Subtract two pounds if you are wearing underwear.
9. Subtract four pounds if you’ve had Chinese food the day before, or actually anytime it’s humid outside and your rings are tight.
10. Subtract 20 pounds during your period.
11. Never use anyone’s scale but your own. Everyone else’s is way off, unless it reads thinner. Then NEVER use your own again.

We have used each of these scientific methods in preparation for “Who’s the Fattest Levine Sister?” But lately we’ve decided that our little exercise is setting a terrible example for our impressionable children. We want our daughters to have good, healthy, realistic body images. We want our sons to acknowledge that women come in all sizes. Feminists all, my sisters and I have decided we need to stop calibrating and start celebrating our bodies, our health, and our abilities. We vowed to show our children the sheer glory of being a woman in all her complexity.

And we do, we do. How? Now when we get together, we go off to a separate room so our children can’t hear us when we debate “Who’s the Fattest Levine Sister?”

Hey, it’s progress. — Beth Levine

Time For An Oil Change
You might love olive oil on your pasta, but according to recent studies, it’s just as rewarding on your face. Yes, olive oil contains squalane, an essential moisturizing ingredient in human skin that begins to disappear after age 18. In the past, squalane was taken from shark livers and combined with creams. But scientists have discovered that the molecular structure of olive oil is small enough that it penetrates pores more deeply than other oils, enabling skin to hold in more moisture. Today, there are many new topicals being developed with olive oil, such as the line of Tuscan olive-oil-based products available at Fiore di Italia boutique. The line includes shampoos, conditioners, bath gels, soaps, bath scrubs, and more. (858/729-0322) — Lynn Marston

Just How Fat Are You?
Have you ever checked yourself out in the mirror thinking that the reflection is showing massive blobs of fat, and then weighed yourself only to learn that in reality you have lost weight? Often, the lard is in the eye of the beholder.

There is a fool-proof way to stop deceiving yourself. No more running around on the scale to find the place where you weigh the least. Tanita’s Body Fat Measuring Scale uses electrical signals to calculate not only weight but body-fat percentage. The memory stores personal data (age, weight averages, if you ever ate a Baby Ruth) in order to monitor fat levels. And the modern design looks like sleek stereo equipment for your bathroom floor.

So if you’re thinking that your bottom is becoming less J. Lo and more Ben & Jerry— now you can have a scale by which to measure your fear. (www.bodytronics.com) — Ana Kessler

Pretty Woman
As practicing Stanford-trained dermatologists, Drs. Rodan and Fields have witnessed the emotional scars that acne, rosacea, hyper pigmentation, and other skin conditions leave behind. In response, they created Multi-Med Therapy. The doctors designed the regimens to address a multitude of skin problems. Radiant, for uneven skin tone, Compounds, to help relieve the redness and dryness that can result as skin transitions to medicated treatments, and Anti-Aging, to help alleviate wrinkles, collagen loss and surface damage — all work symbiotically and simultaneously together. Created with medicines and active botanicals, the regimens are quick and simply applied. The system truly changes the quality of the complexion, leaving it looking beautiful even more quickly than the Rodan & Fields’ pledge, “great skin in 60 days.” (www.rodanandfields.com) — Ana Kessler

Bali High
For those lucky enough (or smart enough) to have a membership to the Santaluz Spa, don’t delay — get into your most hedonistic mode of being and sign up for the JAMU massage. As the brochure’s description says, “This Asian tropical massage begins with a back scrub using coconut and rice. Then relax into techniques from Hindu, Chinese, and European traditions, complemented with your choice of island fruits, Bali flowers or island spice massage oils. A cup of tropical tea completes this thoroughly relaxing, rhythmic and energizing experience.”

Ahh — life can be so sweet. — Shana K. Wilson

A Little Night Music
La Costa Resort and Spa recently kicked off its Spa Under the Stars program, to be held every Thursday night this summer. It’s a new twist to the traditional happy hour. The program allows visitors to enjoy fine wines, spa cuisine, and live music beside the Spa Courtyard’s outdoor fireplace. All of the above, plus the discounted spa treatments, make for a celestial celebration.

After mingling outdoors, “stargazers” have a choice of enjoying a soothing 50-minute La Costa Massage or a 50-minute Skin Awakening Facial for just $99 per treatment, 30 percent off the usual price. Also included with the treatment is the resort’s signature Aqua de la Vida, a soothing bathing ritual and scrub. Dance lessons, astronomy lectures and hangovers aren’t included. (800/729-4772, www.lacosta.com)
— Shana K. Wilson

Relax And Enjoy It
Officially the first resort spa in North America to introduce Academié Skin Care Botorelax treatment featuring a new line of creams that relax the facial muscles for up to four weeks, The Spa at Four Seasons Resort Aviara has added Botorelax to its menu of cutting-edge services. An alternative to other invasive procedures, this 80-minute facial treatment visibly reduces expression lines and softens wrinkles in a comfortable and relaxing environment.

The treatment begins with a deep pore cleansing, including exfoliation, steam, and extractions. A concentrated cream is then applied to needed areas via a facial mask for a minimum of 20 minutes, during which the guest is taken to a state of complete relaxation with a soothing head, neck, and shoulder massage as well as a paraffin hand treatment. The experience ends with the application of firming crèmes and an introduction to the line corrector aftercare included in the price of the treatment.

In recognition of the effectiveness of this new treatment and facial cream, Academié has been awarded the prize for the Best Active Ingredient Utilized in a Professional Product as well as the Most Innovative Product of 2004 by the Le Nouvelle Esthetique committee in Paris.

Cost for the treatment is $320 plus gratuity for an 80-minute session and includes a month’s supply of Academié’s Botorelax facial cream valued at $119. In recent tests, results have shown up to a 72 percent reduction in wrinkles after four weeks of use. 760/603-6800. — S.K. Tiger

Instant Face Lift
After reading the title to this article, you are probably thinking it is about cosmetic surgery. Instead, it’s about cosmetic dentistry and how the condition of a person’s teeth can significantly affect facial aesthetics.
Imagine, if you will, a normally proportioned face, which can be described mathematically as a particular ratio of the lower face (the distance from the tip of the nose to the tip of the chin) to the upper face (distance from the tip of the nose to the top of the forehead). If that normally proportioned face belongs to a person wearing dentures, the lower face completely collapses and proportions are far from normal when the dentures are removed. Wrinkles form around the mouth, and the upper and lower lips fold up on one other. In addition, the tip of the nose folds down, and the facial profile collapses and becomes concave. These changes make a person look older and, unfortunately, that is what inevitably happens in the aging process. Such conditions may or may not reach the severity described in the denture wearer, but these are natural effects of growing old.

There are some dental problems that contribute greatly to the severity of this phenomenon. Bruxism, or teeth grinding, will wear down the teeth over time and make them shorter. The distance from the tip of the nose to the tip of the chin is determined by the size of the teeth because the teeth dictate how far you can close your mouth. Shorter teeth will allow the jaws to close more and give the lower face that collapsed look. Loss of teeth is another way in which the lower face collapses. Losing even one or two teeth and not replacing them will allow the other teeth to move around, resulting in the same problem. Another common cause of this change in facial symmetry is the presence of a lot of old and failing dental work, which needs to be replaced properly so that the original size of the teeth is restored and the correct facial proportion returns.

Calling it an instant face lift may be a little simplistic, but it is possible to greatly improve facial aesthetic proportions by working on the teeth. — Dr. Martin Abelar

Dr. Abelar is an instructor for the prestigious Las Vegas Institute for Advanced Dental Studies, which teaches practicing dentists contemporary techniques in cosmetic and restorative dentistry. He can be reached at his practice, the La Jolla Center for Cosmetic and Restorative Dentistry, at 858/457-7994.